Intern (wait for it...) at Goliath National Bank

Okay, what you need to understand about this program is that you will learn nothing about banking and finance. You must be accepting of the fact that you will put in as much time (if not more) as a regular intern at any bank, but you will not do any of the regular jobs (except fetch coffee).

Instead, you will learn how to participate in shenanigans. You will also learn how to pick up women (even if you are a woman). I spent hours, if not days, crafting the perfect modes of revenge against Clark Butterfield. Mr. Stinson roped me into this after Marshall bowed out.

Safety was not of high consideration and I risked my life many times over. However, over and above this rather extreme demand, I grew to despise the voice over. If I have to hear, "Kids," one more time, I will lose it.

I went into this internship with a clear expectation of how it would pan out. Boy, was I wrong. All we basically did was make plans to destroy the environment and snicker at Marshall's literature for his daily trips to the bathroom. We didn't spend any time at Macleran's and baby Marvin pretty much took up everybody's free time.

The one perk was trying out each of Barney's moves from the play book each week. Those things are like gold. I guess you can't say I didn't learn anything.