Battered from life and confused on spirituality, life and career goals, and even if I wanted to live, I decided I had to change something to strive for a better life. So I changed perspectives. I obtained so many in New Zealand. I lived with a 34 year old self-sustainable hippie away from society up in a mountain out of a house he built, living off the land, using solar and wind power (was going to make a hydroelectric generator). I stayed on a sheep farm, another mega farm, made so many friends on a hop-on hop-off bus, traveled ALL of Middle Earth, traveled in a car with new mates, and did the best hikes I've ever done. I am no longer suicidal, I have found my spirituality (an interconnectedness of everything, and so much more...), am pursuing my career path, have so many life goals, and most of all, I'm happy :)
I have traveled Europe since and am looking forward to traveling SE Asia and Australia next.
I couldn't have asked for anything more. What a beautiful life.