I left my heart in Cambodia.

Day one: I was laying inside my bug net, in the 90 degree heat, with no AC and had just taken a shower from a bucket of water we filled ourselves, only after realizing that rice is the only food we will have for our entire time here. I couldn’t help but think ‘what am I doing here.’

It’s a bitter sweet thing knowing two cultures.

Living in the orphanage for the past month changed my life. These children believe in magic, they play pretend, there is fairy dust in their IV bags. They hope and pray and cross their fingers. They are the happiest, cuddliest, most amazing people on this planet.

If you asked me my first day, I never would have thought I would have missed living in the conditions mentioned above, now I can’t imagine not living like this. I just took my first hot shower in a month and all I can think about is wanting to pour a bucket over my head while the kiddies are calling my name to come play. Leaving here is the hardest thing I’ve had to do and I’ll forever be grateful for the time I got to spend at the Child Rescue Center.

One of the main things I learned here was they aren’t the poor ones on this planet. They may not have much money, if any at all, but they have more happiness with what little they have and that’s something a lot of western people need to learn from.

These children brought light to my world. A day didn’t go by the last four weeks where they didn’t have the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen.

We actually lived in the orphanage with the children, so we got to spend every second with them. Every morning at 5am the music would start playing and we would go stretch and then pray. Breakfast at 7am, lunch at 11, dinner 5 and prayer again at 7. We got into a routine. The kids became family.

Every day I couldn’t help but think to myself “I wonder if this is what it’s like to have kids”. Endless amounts of kisses, cuddles, hugs and love. I miss them so much.

This past month changed my life forever and I wish I could do it again.