I’ll remember those kids even though they won’t remember me. I’ll remember them just how they were and they’ll be in my thoughts and prayers. If my new dream comes true, I’ll have two of them as my own.
If not, I’ll remember saying goodbye to Pray. He acts like a tough kid but deep down he, like the rest of them, is desperate for love and attention. I told him I was leaving. “Na enda aeroplane,” I said. He ignored me and kept playing with his car. I told him again to make sure he understood. He didn’t turn around, I gave him a hug from the back and walked out, sad to leave them all.
Just as I walked thought the gate, something came running toward me and hurled itself at me. Pray was in my arms and he said, “I’m coming with you” in Swahili. That’s when the tears came in a rush and I wanted him more than ever before. That I will never forget.
Seeing how imperfect everything was, seeing the flaws in the good systems like The Small Things, and seeing the corruption and abuse in the bad systems like some of the government and other orphanages. Seeing what a complex issue this was. Seeing that nothing could fix all the problems in the world.
I already knew this, but it was hard to experience. That was the hardest thing. But that’s one of the biggest enemies of change. That’s why The Small Things’ motto: ‘We can do no great things. Only small things with great love.’– Mother Teresa” is perfect.
One of the quotes I repeat most often to myself, one of the quotes I could not live without, is this: “We cannot help everyone, everywhere—but we can help someone, somewhere."
How can a country with aspirations of becoming one of the world's "Superpowers" justify the poverty and pollution which exists there? How can they spend billions on space and nuclear programs when so many people are living in squalor?
I don't have any answers except that their culture and religious beliefs have evolved over hundreds of years and embrace the caste system, arranged marriages and many other aspects of their lives that we in the West find "alien".
There are countless projects such as the one I was involved in which are designed to bring education to the poor, not just in India but to many parts of the developing world. Whilst the spread of education is essential, I for one love the diversity that exists in the world. Why otherwise would we be so fascinated by travel?
Already, it has already made me see the world differently, made me love children more, made me more committed to my lifelong dream of adopting. It has made me more determined to not let complacency creep into my life. It has urged me to do more good and to start setting concrete goals about the ways I can give back a percentage of what has been given to me.
But I am positive that this experience has impacted my future in ways I do not even comprehend yet. I am in Nursing School and hope to enter a program that Indian Health Services in the United States teaches for use on the Indian reservations: how to be a midwife in impoverished and rural conditions.
I would like to study in this program and use those skills not only on the reservations but outside of the U.S. as well. I want my mom to start an orphanage because she is the most incredible Head Start teacher I’ve ever heard of, and she would run an amazing orphanage. I thought of her often when the kids were running around, dissatisfied and unsure what to do with themselves.
For most kids, that’s where a parent or sibling steps in and gives some direction, either by playing or teaching a game, sending the kid outside to play with neighbors, or pulling the kid into the kitchen or garage to “help.” For these kids, there are 1-5 people over 5 years old around to do this for them, and not only is it unnatural, it could potentially be harmful.
I thought often of how helpful her skills would be to our kids at Nkoaranga, how much they would benefit from her games and program and structure. I don’t even know all the ways this experience has impacted me yet, but in the years to come I know I'll discover even more."
