Guide to Volunteering, Teaching, or Living Abroad with Kids

If you’re part of the Go Overseas community, then you already have an adventurous spirit and a love of travel. Maybe you’ve had the opportunity to study abroad, do a gap year, or take a language course overseas. You know, as we do here at Go Overseas, that once you have that kind of live-changing travel experience, you’re soon looking for the next one.

Slowly, though, the years pass and you find yourself with a steady job, a spouse, and maybe even a few children. You look at your life and while there is so much happiness, you might also be thinking about journeys not yet taken, adventures waiting, and worlds to be explored. After all, it’s not really possible to just pack up your family, your life, and move overseas… Is it?

It’s not only possible, it’s absolutely what you should do. In this two part series, we’ll take a closer look at moving overseas with your family. We'll cover:

• Why should you do it?
• What do you need to do to prepare?
• What is life like once you’re in a new place?
• How do you make it all work?

The first step, though, is to look at why and how people find opportunities to move abroad with their families. In today’s world of hyper-connectivity, ease of travel, and technological advances, living overseas isn’t the lonely hardship it was in David Livingstone’s day. Instead, it can be exactly what you and your family need to reconnect, discover, and uniquely shape your futures.

Reasons to Move Abroad with Your Family

It is easy to come up with a list of reasons not to move. Your kids like their school, you’re up for a promotion, you’re only a half hour drive from family, you have a mortgage, and you’re a busy member of the community. Besides, what would your kids do without their iPads? What would you and your spouse talk about if you can’t watch House of Cards? That’s the easy list. That’s the list people look at and become discouraged, thinking that a year or two of adventure just isn’t possible right now. Maybe later.

So here are some reasons to move abroad that will make you see the above list as merely challenges to overcome, not deal-breakers. Read this list and we bet you’ll be checking to see if the State Department can expedite passports for the whole family because you’re on your way to your new life in France, Belize, or Tanzania.

1. Find a Simpler Way of Life

In most places around the world, life isn’t quite so fast-paced. If you’re looking for a slightly slower pace of life, you might just find it – pretty much anywhere but in the US. There are so many advantages to seeking out calm and connectivity in a world where 12 vacation days a year is seen as generous. When life is fast-paced, it goes by too quickly.

Our super-busy lives tend to be overscheduled and overcommitted. We rush from violin practice to soccer to private tutors. Our weekends are jam packed and before we even have a chance to unplug, it’s Sunday night and little Billy suddenly remembers he has a science project due Monday.

Escaping the rat race is hard to do in certain highly industrialized countries, but in the vast majority of places around the world, slowing down, finding rhythm and prioritizing family and healthy is normal – even encouraged.

There are hundreds of stories from families who have made the move and find themselves with more time to enjoy each other, their new location, and even new hobbies, while still working and feeling like contributing members of society.

2. Virtually Anyone Can Do It

Because of that fast-paced lifestyle, we live in a world where email is available even in some of the most far-flung and obscure places. You can conference-call in to meetings, facetime with your loved ones, work remotely, and maintain a presence even when you’re not physically there.

This means that just about anyone can take this plunge. You can manage your finances, keep an eye on your home, stay in touch with family, and maybe even keep working towards that promotion, all while being on the adventure of your life. Your abroad experience can be totally customizable, with as much contact with the fast-paced lifestyle back home or as little as you want.

While you're worried about providing for your family, know that with a little creativity, a life overseas is possible for anyone in the workforce. Your children will learn so much from seeing you be flexible, adaptable, and find your own path to adventure. With some careful research, good planning, and commitment to your responsibilities, you can make this new life not only possible, but also hugely successful.

3. It’s Affordable

One might think that moving to a foreign country and living on the beach sounds too expensive. The truth is, some of the most stunning locations in the world also have some of the lowest costs of living.

It’s possible for you and your family to live in a gorgeous place for under $2,000 a month – maybe even less. You just need to be savvy, do your research, and find the right location for you and your family. Consider the South of France, where you can retire on $1750 a month, the pristine beach towns of Belize, where it is even cheaper, or exciting and exotic towns that dot Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, and the Philippines.

That being said, there are other more creative options if you have a tight budget. Consider ‘life-swapping’ like this family from Colorado who moved to Australia for a year.

4. It’s an Unparalleled Cross-Cultural Experience

Imagine the stories your children will be able to share for the rest of their lives. Imagine how meeting people who come from completely different backgrounds and experiences will shape their worldviews. This is a tremendous gift to give a child – to give anyone, really, but especially to those who are young and impressionable. They will be able to escape the bubble that so many of their friends back home live in and explore what makes this big world so beautiful and wondrous.

A life abroad will open doors for them that they never even knew existed – they will be challenged in positive ways as they navigate their new world and discover new food, new culture, art, dance, perceptions, and perspectives.

This is the type of experience that will help shape the people that they will become as they go to college, begin a career, and find their own place in the world.

Kathleen Peddicord, author of Nine Reasons Not to Retire Overseas (And Why They Don’t Matter) writes, “speaking as a mom who has spent the last 16 years raising two children (the second, my son, born in Ireland) across four countries, I can tell you with confidence that a life abroad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids. They might object at first (my daughter, born in Baltimore, cried her way through our entire first year living overseas, in Waterford, Ireland), but, in time, they'll grow to love the life and to appreciate the effort you've made providing it for them.”

5. It’s an Opportunity for Personal Growth

Of course, it’s not always easy. Any type of cross-cultural experience has its challenges. There will be days when you’re frustrated at language barriers or the fact that the slower pace of life you craved also means buses are often late. Your children might struggle to find their footing at first as everything is new and different.

That being said, it’s an excellent opportunity to embrace those challenges that create strong character. These are the types of challenges that build confidence, compassion, and an inherent sense of self.

These are the types of experiences that help create and shape one’s identity. If your children can make new lives for themselves in a new country, they can do just about anything.

6. It Affords an Outstanding Education

Not only are your children going to become more confident, savvy citizens of the world, they are almost definitely going to learn so much from their time overseas that it’s an education in and of itself.

In terms of formal education, there are excellent international schools all over the world, so that shouldn’t be too much of a concern. In terms of informal education, it doesn’t get much better. The exposure to so many new and different aspects of life will provide a well-rounded education that means your children are learning algebra and what it means to master cross-cultural communication.

They’ll learn Shakespeare alongside the complicated history of former colonies. They’ll study science and then snorkel in pristine waters or go on safari and see rhinos in the wild. They’ll learn new languages and develop a sense of self that goes far beyond the classroom.

7. It Strengthens Relationships

I’ll be honest, there are days when my husband and I wake up, care for our son, go to work, come home, put our son to bed, watch some TV and fall into bed. While we love each other and are hugely interested in each other’s day-to-day lives, life gets so busy, so tiring, that simple conversations go by the wayside. It’s easier to watch the Daily Show than cook dinner together. It’s easy to fall into routine and hard to pull yourself out of it.

That all changes when you move abroad. Just the simple act of being out of your comfort zone will bring your family closer together. You sort of cling together during your new adventure, as you navigate the challenges and excitements of a new place. You have the same frame of reference, moving from the same home, so it’s easier to share and experience moments of culture shock together.

This is perhaps one of, if not the most important reasons you should go abroad as a family. It’s an opportunity to reconnect, to strengthen familial bonds, and to learn from one another. You’ll be so proud as you watch each other navigate your new life and you depend on and lean on each other.

You’ll come home with memories and experiences you’ll never forget. You will all have grown, matured, changed, but all done it together. As a family.

So How Do You Make it Work?

There are plenty of people out there who are sent overseas with their families for their jobs. Then you don’t really have a choice about going and you make the most of that incredible opportunity. In our next article, we’ll look at some concrete tips for making the adjustment to your new home exciting and hopefully drama-free.

For others, you might decide that taking some time to live abroad is a priority for you, regardless of your job situation. You could look into transfers or overseas projects within your same company, or you could get creative with your options.

We hear from people all the time who pick up and transition to a new life and make it work. Whether they switched careers, started a new career, or lived off of their savings, there are endless possibilities for finding ways to take your family abroad.

Alexandra Talty has a great article at Forbes, Seven Simple Steps to Finding a Job Abroad that addresses some of these issues. While she doesn’t focus on taking a family overseas, her advice and steps are applicable for anyone who is considering making the move. She makes some excellent points, including the fact that even if a job taken overseas looks like it might be off of your typical career trajectory, it might inspire something really creative and innovative. She also authored an article, How to Find a Job Teaching English, All Over the World, which might be of interest.

In addition to finding work within your stated career and potentially looking for jobs “outside the box,” there is also the possibility of taking a year or two off. As stated above, there are plenty of exotic, fascinating places overseas that offer a much lower cost of living that the United States. It is possible to save and plan in order to make the most of your overseas experience.

There are some adventurous spirits who quit work altogether and retire early. Kathleen Peddicord, author of Nine Reasons Not to Retire Overseas (And Why They Don’t Matter) writes, “you could launch a more comfortable, more interesting, safe, pleasant, even adventure-filled life in a number of places around the world on a budget of as little as $1,200 per month or less. In some parts of Panama, Colombia, Thailand, Nicaragua, Malaysia, and Ecuador, for example, you could live comfortably on a budget of less than $1,000 per month.” There are an increasing number of resources and websites dedicated to helping people live out that dream, as well as countries who are vying to be your family’s new home.

Ultimately, each journey to a life overseas is different - it might take a job transfer, a new vocation, a retirement plan – but however it happens, it takes courage, careful communication within your family, and a firm belief that this is the right thing in your situation.

Looking Ahead

Once you’ve made the decision to go and you’ve found the perfect way to make that happen, it’s time to look at how you’re going to make the transition.

In our next article of this series, we offer practical, concrete advice for easing your family into this major transition. It’s not always easy and not every day is paradise, but the benefits you’ll reap as you explore a new world together will far outweigh the challenges.

In the second installment of our two part series, we look at practical tips and advice for moving overseas with your family. It’s an exciting challenge that presents unique opportunities for adventure, excitement, and personal growth. More and more often, families are deciding that a simple vacation just isn’t enough. Instead, they believe that children and young adults can deeply benefit from meaningful exposure to different countries and cultures. By removing your family from all that is familiar and making the move overseas, you know that they will have a rich experience, but realize that there may be some bumps along the way.

Because making the move overseas is increasingly common, writers, bloggers, and other expats have made the transition easier for us today. Through their online communities, like Circle of Moms' Expat Moms group, we have access to success stories, words of caution, and plenty of advice. For virtually any destination in the world, there are those who are excited to share their knowledge and offer advice specific to that place.

Generally speaking, though, there are some ways to make the transition from your American home to your new home overseas less challenging. There will always be steps particular to your family that will make the move easier, but hopefully these tips will help you think and plan and prepare for this big and exciting time.

Pre-DepartureBefore the actual move, you should take care of a few important things. Below is your basic checklist (but we'll discuss in more depth each item):

• Bring your children into the discussion and decision process early on
• Get an idea of what life in your destination is like
• Set realistic expectations for your family
• Pack up your belongings
• Say goodbyes to friends, family, and favorite spots

Group Decisions

Depending on the age of your children, it might be possible to bring them in to the conversation when making big decisions early on. This can begin with the big decision on whether or not to move, when the family sits down and really looks at the pros and cons of moving abroad.

Now, understandably, if this is a necessary move for work or some other reason, there may not be much of a decision to make, but empowering your children to be a part of the conversation early on can make a world of difference. Often, they just want to feel like they have a say in the major events shaping their young lives and being asked what they think and how they feel will allow them that.

This early period of discussion and deliberation should be focused on them -- they need time and space to articulate their fears, concerns, and ideas. Don’t be surprised if your children are not receptive to the idea right away, even as you describe all of the joys of your new home, the horseback riding on the beach, safari trips, or chocolate croissants.

Major change is hard, even for children who are usually adaptable and resilient. Be sure that if the decision is a necessary one (in that you have to move for work or some other reason), you communicate that to your children early on and firmly. Listen and answer questions, but remain sure (at least in their presence) that this is the best decision for the family. They want to see that surety and positivity in you.

The other major advantage to having family decision/discussion time early on is that your children can start to take ownership of the process. Moving overseas can be hard and present unique challenges. If your children are excited and on-board from the beginning, they can help problem-solve, find the positive, and remain committed to the decisions that were made as a family.

Of course, if you are moving with very small children, you might need a slightly different approach. Instead of making the decision as a family, you will need to make the decision and share it with your little ones in an honest and open way.

Research Life in Your Destination

The most important thing you can do on your own to help smooth the transition is research. Learn everything you can about your new home. Read blogs, read books, network, reach out to people on Facebook, LinkedIn, anywhere you can find them.

Ask tons of questions, from what are the schooling options to do we need mosquito nets. The more you know, the better you can answer questions from your little ones who probably have the same concerns you do.

As mentioned above, there are increasingly numerous resources, especially as expats blog about their experiences and offer advice for newcomers. One of the greatest advantages to being part of an expat community, wherever you are, is that everyone understands to some degree, what being a newcomer in that place is like.

Once you have a better sense of where you’re going and what the joys and challenges will be like, you can better prepare your children and yourselves.

Setting Expectations

When discussing (or selling) the idea of moving overseas, it’s easy to narrowly focus on the positives. And of course, there are plenty -- why else would you be moving? You’ll be discovering a new country, new cultures, trying new food, learning a new language, exploring places that are exciting. However, it's also important to face the realities of the move.

Moving involves big goodbyes, removal from everything known and comfortable, and the long process of finding one’s place in a new environment. Parents need to be open and honest about these challenges, and to encourage open communication about worries, concerns, and fears with their children.

With your careful research, you’ll be able to help prepare your children for some of the challenges specific to your move. Perhaps you’ll be in a place with little or slow internet, or in a place where the winters are long and cold, where they will face a language gap, or somewhere you need to be careful of snakes and crocodiles. In the weeks and months leading up to the move, you can help set expectations so that when your children meet these challenges, they are ready, if not fully prepared, for them.

Try to remember to view the move from your children’s eyes: what are the things, however small and inconsequential they may seem to you, that will be a major change in their lives? Perhaps it’s not having access to their favorite TV show, restaurant, or park. Perhaps it’s the loss of routine and structure. Perhaps it’s being far from a beloved grandparent. Helping your children ready themselves for these challenges will make the move go smoother for everyone.

While concentrating on all of the adventures and excitement and new friends is a great way to focus on the positive, don’t be afraid to have tough conversations about the less fun parts of the move and encourage your children to voice their fears, ask questions, and look for solutions to problems.

Packing

Packing for your move is where you can get input from your children and give them valuable ownership over the moving process. You’re definitely going to want to purge, pare down until you zero in on the necessities so that you’re not overwhelmed by stuff.

It’s easy in this highly emotional time to form connections to things, to have that feeling that if you take enough of your favorite deodorant, say, enough to last two years, everything will be fine. It’s tempting to look at your children’s toys and think, they will need all of this to feel at home and comfortable in a new place.

The truth is, though, you’d be surprised by how little you actually need and how much you can buy in your new home. Make this a fun part of the process (I know that sounds difficult) but talk to your children and suggest that they pick and choose the toys they really want while promising to help them find new play things once in your new home. This could also be a valuable learning experience if you want to take this time to donate items to local charities.

Use that research that you’ve collected and those networks you’ve been establishing to figure out what the real necessitates are and have tough love with everything else.

Good-Byes

No matter who you are, how old you are, where you’re going or for how long, goodbyes are hard. There’s no way around it, this is definitely one of the hardest things about moving. Again, the best approach seems to be openness and honesty. Allow your children to be sad, to be emotional. Allow them a chance to say goodbye to friends and family and even their top ten favorite ice cream shops.

Focus on the “see you soon” message so that children don’t feel that there’s finality to the goodbye. Promise phone calls and video chats (if your internet is going to be good enough!) letters, postcards, and care packages (if the mail is reliable!).

The most important part of the goodbye process is helping your children understand that it’s not goodbye forever. It’s about connections to people and places that you love and a move isn’t going to change that.

Making the MoveSo you've done it! You've made the leap and moved abroad. Again, here's your on the ground to do list, along with details on each:

• Settle in to your new house and city
• Develop a routine quickly
• Make friends and connections
• Look for signs of culture shock with your kids and help them understand and deal with it
• And of course... Make room for fun and adventures!

Get Resettled

You’ve packed, gotten totally organized, made your flights and are landing in your new home. Hopefully you’ve been able to make some connections on the ground so that there is someone to welcome and help you in your first few days and weeks. This could be someone from work if this is a work-related move, but if not, you might want to look into companies that offer on-site relocation services or real estate agents. These are often great resources for helping you get settled in the immediate arrival period.

Start a Routine Quickly

It’s important to expect your children to have a hard time at first, especially if they are younger and reliant on structure. Helping to develop a routine quickly should help them transition better.

Expect them to be extra clingy and perhaps a bit more whiny than usual. Be sure to pay them extra attention, even when your attention is being pulled in a multitude of ways. Remain upbeat and positive, even when there are snags and snafus, as your confidence will help give them confidence.

Make Friends

Making connections is helpful to the whole family. New friends will help you navigate some of the unique challenges you’ll face, but it will also give you a friendly face when you need one the most. Help your children make friends by setting up playdates as quickly as you can. As children are generally friendly and outgoing, they may make more friends than the adults do in a shorter amount of time, but be sure to facilitate the process and offer comfort and encouragement.

School will be an important part of the adjustment process for your children. Some families may decide to homeschool if you're living in a rural community, but often it is possible to find great local schools. In popular expat destinations and major international cities there are often amazing international or American schools that offer educations that rival some of the best schools America has to offer. It is impertinent to consider the type of education that is provided - if it's a smaller local school, the academics might be less rigorous, but children will have the advantage of studying with local children and be exposed to different languages and cultures. For older children considering college and university, finding a school with strong academics that can help them prepare for secondary education will be key.

One of the best ways to prepare and plan for your chid's schooling is to reach out to local expats. They can often answer questions on the schools in the region, provide unbiased insight into their reputations, and offer advice on admissions.

Once you've decided on the right school for your child, be sure to visit the schools your children will attend before the first day. Go with them and explore, meet their teachers and the administration. Be sure that they know you’ve recently made a major move and that your children might need some extra attention or care as they make the transition.

Understand Culture Shock

We joke around, but culture shock is a real thing and it affects us all, albeit in different ways. Children are especially susceptible to culture shock and it can manifest itself in lots of different behaviors. Look for signs such as increased irritability, shyness, clinginess, or aggressiveness. It can also take on more physical symptoms, such as insomnia or lethargy.

Generally speaking, the pattern of culture shock is to be excited when you first get to your new home, to find everything wonderful and perfect. This is followed by a period of frustration and anger that things in your new home are so different. Eventually emotions and feelings even out so that you find peace and happiness in your new home, while accepting those things you find annoying.

There are plenty of resources out there to help you manage your own culture shock, while helping your children. Kidshealth.org has a great piece on culture shock written for teenagers. By understanding culture shock and preparing for it, you can help your children weather the storm. Offer advice, but most of all listen and look for ways to help them come to the acceptance stage of life in your new home. Because children are so incredibly adaptable, they will probably reach it long before you do.

Have Fun

It’s easy when you’re in the middle of a big move to get bogged down with the details. Instead, focus on the fun and excitement that comes with moving to a new place. Go do all of those things you talked about when you were back home and looking through guidebooks. Take advantage of everything that your new home has to offer and make this the adventure of your lives.

Carve out places, restaurants, or beaches that can become special to your family. Help your children feel at home by making it home. Get to know locals, as well as expats, and get involved in community life. Try and learn the language, cook the local cuisine, get to know the history, and enjoy all of the unique cultural attractions.

Be a Family

Make this an adventure that you are all on together. You’ll make mistakes and you’ll probably have days when you wish you’d never left the states. That’s ok. Be open about that because each of you will have days like that. You’ll go through the stresses of creating a new life, but you’ll do it together and you’ll be a closer family for it. You’ll learn from each other, challenge each other, and encourage each other.

This is not an easy decision or an easy move, but the rewards are huge – life changing. You’re giving your children, and yourselves, a chance to be active citizens of the world, to learn, grow, develop, and explore like they never could before. Be ready for the challenges, but know that in the end, you’ll be so happy and comfortable in your new home that you can’t imagine having never taken this journey.