LoPair Cultural Exchange Reviews

I completed the Summer Educare programme; an experience which has left me with mixed feelings about the programme. It is an excellent opportunity to truly experience a different culture by being immersed into life in China with a Chinese host family. I was able to gain insight which wouldn't be possible when visiting for a short period of time as a tourist. Everyone's experience will be unique as host families have different interests and can introduce you to different cultural aspects. The mandarin classes are also fantastic as I went out to China with no previous knowledge of the language but came away after 8 weeks being able to communicate with basic mandarin.

I was supposed to be living with a lovely family in Shenzhen. Sadly, they pulled out of the programme last minute after much deliberation regarding other plans for their young son. With less than two weeks before starting the programme, Lopair helped me find new families quickly and really seemed to empathise with my situation. However, the family I ended up with in Beijing turned out to be an unfavourable match and I worry about their suitability for the programme at all. I want to give praise to all of the coordinators in Hangzhou who made me feel so welcome and took our small group (3 au pairs as we arrived earlier than other participants) around Hangzhou after orientation training. Unfortunately, Lopair's support seemed to dissipate.

There were numerous negative occasions with my host family but I will limit these to just a few examples:
- the family did not make me feel welcome or accommodated and I didn't feel like "a member of the family". Many mornings I had to go without breakfast because the parents or one of the three nannies would not set the table or cook for me. I was made to feel very awkward about asking for food and the nanny seemed to resent making me a fried egg (most of the time the only thing which my breakfast consisted of). There were no snacks provided for me (apart from the occasional bit of fruit) and I was not allowed out of the house so I couldn't buy any. One time the family went out for the whole afternoon until evening without telling me and I didn't get any dinner. I politely messaged them asking if they could bring me back some "leftovers" which they did a few hours later. As I sat down to eat, the three year old (who had already been out for a big meal) started to try and take the little bit of food I was bought back. He made a commotion and the family gave a large portion of my food to him! I was also hit on different occasions by the boy for no reason (punched in the nose and face as well as my legs) and the mother didn't even react to tell him off or at least check that I was alright.
- no privacy: the family got annoyed with me for shutting my bedroom door—especially locking it—but this was necessary to keep the three year old out of my room when getting changed or sleeping. I wasn't even allowed to lock the bathroom door sometimes (of which I did not have my own and had to share with the three year old and his nanny) which resulted in the boy catching me in the shower—something the family then blamed me for. Even in my free time I lacked privacy as I got criticised for shutting my bedroom door. This was a strain as I was prevented from recuperating and relaxing which had a damaging effect as the weeks went on.
- during week 7 the family had plans to travel to Tianjin and Jinan but this meant I was yo-yoed from one hot cramped car to the next with lots of travelling, no rest, and I was not always given any water. The trip made me very ill for my final week. As soon as we arrived back in Beijing (after a full day of travelling) my body couldn't take anymore and succumbed to the illness it was desperately suppressing under the constant changing of environments. I was up the whole night and the day after throwing up. I wasn't able to eat for over 4 days and it took a couple of days until I could start stomaching fluids again, meaning I was severely dehydrated (something especially uncomfortable in the heat). The family unfairly blamed me several times for being ill because I "ate too much" on the trip—something which was not even true. After the parents asked if my insurance covered going to hospital (to which I said I just needed rest and to try and get over the illness, unable to take anymore distress after the week of travelling) they lost interest. They did not try and look after me or even check up on me which made me feel incredibly isolated. Luckily, despite the difficult language barrier, the daughter's nanny (a different nanny to the one who usually cooks) started to look out for me and made me small portions of plain rice or noodles: a great relief after being neglected by the rest of the family.

To top this off, I had to plead with the mother for a lift to the airport at the end of my placement as I was still unwell. She refused to get one of their drivers (of which they had a few) to take me and insisted I use the subway. I then had to try and appeal to the father who eventually agreed to get a family friend to take me. Not the tearful sendoff I would've hoped for at the start of the programme.

A friend I made on the programme (who was also in Beijing) had messaged two different coordinators urging them to check on me because he was concerned about how unwell I was and the lack of support from the family. I wasn't aware of this until after completing the programme as I was shown the messages by said friend. Lopair did not bother to get in contact with me which was beyond disappointing, especially as I was experiencing such trauma. Even before this—during a misunderstanding with the family—I found my coordinator would favour the family above me despite assuring me in private beforehand that what I was feeling was completely justified and valid.

That is not to say I never enjoyed my time as an au pair because, despite the hurdles, I did have some memorable times with the children. In fact, I got on with the ten year old daughter very well. However, the family generally did not treat me very well. I completely lacked the freedom that I was entitled to, even on my one day off a week. The family were not flexible on their 9pm curfew (I even received texts demanding I start coming back at 7pm on my day off to ensure I was back way before 9pm). I was always with an au pair friend but they would try and justify their control over me by saying I was unsafe. I was rarely allowed out of the house and I had no front door key to aid any independence (I politely spoke to the parents several times and they refused to give me one).

I had an amazing time in China itself and it has undoubtedly helped me develop as a person and gain invaluable cultural insight. I visited some amazing sites like the Great Wall and my days off were by far the happiest of my time in China. Nonetheless, the positives of my experience are not down to Lopair and I can't imagine how my experience might have suffered further had it not been for the support of other au pairs when Lopair were more than inattentive. To give advice for anyone thinking of doing a programme with Lopair, make sure the family you are matched with are right for you. I believe that if circumstances had been different and I had a more accommodating family my experience would have been even better.

Pros: Nice Family with great accommodation, very attentive and helpful staff who coordinate the visit, efficiently run and I never felt as if I was without help or direction.

Cons: Insufficient guidance for teaching, too much time spent with host family which results in a very limited experiences of China, surrounded by too much English so rare of mandarin progress is not at all what I had expected, teaching philosophy in China different to that in most European countries that often work with the children feels unrewarding or even counter productive; its hard to get enthusiastic about your job when you belive you are being asked to do the wrong thing.

Overall: An enjoyable experience but not what I had expected. I wasn’t able to teach in the way I wanted to and that marred the experience. The most enjoyable aspects are invariably those spent away from the family and the program. I would recommend it to a friend but not without fair warning.

I thoroughly enjoyed participating in this program! I feel very grateful that I was given the opportunity to travel to China and learn Chinese all for free. My host family was welcoming, friendly and so kind. They went out of their way to make me feel at home and were constantly concerned that I might be homesick or not comfortable (but I never was!). I was very lucky because I enjoyed a lot of free time. I would only have to teach my host child, Vicky (12 years-old), for around 2 hours a day and the rest of the day we would often go out and explore Beijing together. (However, I would like to point out that I was really lucky, I know that some of my friends had to work 5+ hours a day). I also had one and a half days off a week where I could meet up with my friends. My favourite thing about the program was the Chinese lessons. I had an amazing teacher who made the lessons fun and relaxed, I also made great friends with the other au pairs in these classes. I would really recommend this program as I have learnt so much about Chinese culture, but also going to a new country on your own really pushes you out of your comfort zone, making you a more confident and able person! My advice to future au pairs would be to speak up if you have any problems. Don't feel embarrassed or like a burden if you feel homesick or uncomfortable. There is a team of Lo Pair staff who you can talk to and it's their job to support you! If you have any problems with the host family they may be able to advice you on what to do or explain why they be doing something, after all it could simply be a culture clash. Also, I would advice you to be open and communicative with your host family. For example, towards the end of the program my host child, Vicky, began to completely ignore me and didn't want to study with me. This was really shocking and I questioned if I had done something wrong. However, when I spoke to her parents about it they revealed that she was jealous of me and it was nothing to do with anything that I had done. If I hadn't have been open with them about how I felt I would never have known that!

I went in China with lopair, a partner of my french agency. My experience as an au pair was amazing, it makes me grow and develop my patience.
My family was really nice, kind with me and thanks to them I discover a lot of things about China (like food, a lot of food and culture).
When you get used to Chinese customs, it’s really easy. People are really nice and helpfull with you. I really love China 🇨🇳

I spent 6 weeks in Hangzhou in a very nice family with two 5 year-old twin girls. The matching process was made rather easy by Lopair even if I had asked to go to Shanghai in the first-place (in retrospect I am really happy I spent these few weeks in Hangzhou and not Shanghai as Hangzhou is a better place to explore traditional China).

BEST PARTS ABOUT THE PROGRAM :

- Being able to discover/explore China on my own was definitly what I was looking forward to the most. After 6 weeks, I can say I have become a lot more confident in travelling by myself, meeting new people, trying new things and starting conversations with locals.

- My Mandarin has improved a lot as the program is a chance to be fully immersed in a Chinese family and the Mandarin lessons I had twice a week were taught by a great teacher.

- The people you get to meet. Spending 6 weeks (or more) in China can get very isolating if you don't make an effort to meet people and make friends. I was very lucky I got along so well with my classmates and also got the chance to go out with other au pairs in my free time. I also made a few Chinese friends that I keep in touch with over wechat and hope to visit in the future !

- The support provided by Lopair was great for me. Both my local coordinator Yvonne and June were amazing, checking up on me and taking me (with one or multiple other au pairs) for coffee and dinner. It really made me feel like I had someone to turn to in case of an issue.

THINGS TO TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION / NEGATIVE ASPECTS :

- One thing I would say to anyone considering doing the programme though is to not underestimate how much effort and energy needs to be put in teaching and supervising kids. It is a real job that requires commitment and a love for kids. 6 weeks can be long if you don't like being around kids all the time.

- The biggest downside to my 6 weeks in Hangzhou was that, because my host family's house was so incredibly far from the city center (about 2h30!!), I wasn't able to go out with friends in the evening or even in the afternoon and stayed in the house even when I was supposed to have some free time. So do ask how far the house is from the language school and the city center !!
In the end it turned out fine because my host family went to Japan for 10 days and paid for a hotel for me in the center so I did have these days to explore more by myself and hang out with people my age.

In conclusion, my 6 weeks in Hangzhou truly were an amazing for me and it really has reinforced my love for China. I am incredibly grateful to my host family who was wonderful in every way and tried their best to share their culture with me. I hope to go back to Hangzhou very soon :)

I've had a great time here is Beijing and it's all thanks to the family I was staying with and the friends I got to make. Making sure you're with the right family is key to your enjoyment of the program. But don't worry, if you are unlucky enough to get a family that you don't click with then it is easy enough to switch. LoPair are great at finding new matches and making sure you are housed and comfortable.

Overall I've enjoyed myself a lot and I will be very sad to leave. I am very glad I got to experience China and I will definitely be coming back!

I took part in the Lopair summer program and it was a great six weeks, where I was able to discover the wonders of China. The Lopair team where great helping with any problems anyone may have in the country. My advice for anyone interested in this program, is that you should go for it! However educate yourself on the cultural differences before you go, and on arrival put in a good plan with the family.

This experience was really an incredible opportunity. I lived with a Beijing family with friendly kids who were keen to teach me lots about the culture. My family also took me on holiday with them around China. I’ve learned so much over 6 weeks and eaten things I never knew you could eat! I would recommend participants to definitely choose their host family carefully, and not just go with their first family if they have doubts about being happy.

I lived with a family in Beijing who had a little 4 year old girl. My family were brilliant - they were welcoming, down-to-earth and made an effort to take me to restaurants, concerts and cultural sites. During the week I would read English books to the child, teach her maths and help her practice piano; when this was done we would play for the rest of the day. My local coordinator was Nancy and she was really helpful in addressing any issues I had.

Twice a week I would attend Mandarin classes. The language course was one of the best parts of the experience and I highly recommend it. As well as being fun and well-taught, the language course gives you an opportunity to meet other au pairs and is a fantastic boost to your CV. I’d like to continue to learn Mandarin back at home as I enjoyed it that much.

Once a week, on my day off, I would meet up with the other au pairs and we would spend the day doing a cultural activity together, like visiting a temple or going to an art gallery. This too was one of the best parts of the trip; I made some fantastic friends and after the culture shock of living in China it’s always good to be able to talk in English and eat some Western food together! We mostly came from the same university so we had lots in common already.

I was placed in Beijing this summer in a lovely host family, with Ricky (aged 6) as the only child. His English was very good, and so the teaching aspect was not too difficult in terms of planning - lots of reading, drawing (such as science, which he has a big interest in), watching English documentaries and writing.

The host family were extremely welcoming, taking me to lots of lovely restaurants, as well as trips to the theatre, theme park and the Great Wall. They were also very good with the schedule, sticking to the hours always, which I have heard is not the case for all au pairs (some other lopair summer educare participants were working up to 50 hours a week, rather than the advertised 35 hours).

The mandarin lessons were very useful, and also a great way to meet other au pairs, including those from other agencies rather than just lopair. This allowed us to meet up on Sunday’s too (most of our days off) to visit attractions. The TESOL course was also very useful for the programme, and was easy to complete whilst on the exchange itself.

I had two issues with the programme. Firstly, the host child was much less obedient than I would expect for a 6 year old - I have dealt with many 6 year olds in England before teaching reading etc., and I’ve never had them straight up refuse to do activities and throw so many tantrums. From what I have heard, this is the case for quite a few families, so I guess it is just a difference in culture - by the end of the program, I was mostly able to control these issues by finding ways around them (such as getting him to watch a science video and then draw an annotated diagram of an experiment.

Secondly, I found that the support at lopair varies hugely depending on the staff member - some were extremely useful, such as the Uk coordinator Hannah in helping with medical forms and submitting my application. When I wanted to ask about extending insurance, on the other hand, I never got a final reply with a price so had to go elsewhere - this was for the best, given I found out I hadn’t even been insured by lopair for the first couple of days! The visa process could have also been much better - luckily I had booked a slot at the London visa centre, as this has to be done weeks in advance - I only received my documents from lopair around 2 days before this slot, and if I hadn’t booked this slot and did so when I got the documents I don’t think I would have been able to make the trip.