LoPair Education: Au Pair Cultural Exchange Program in China

During my 6 months in China I’ve been able to experience so much, some things bad but overall good.

I’ve been living in Beijing but also gotten the chance to visit Sanya, Harbin and Shanghai.
I’ve got to try all kinds of food, some I didn’t even know you could eat.
I’ve made friends from all over the world.
I’ve seen amazing things, such as the Great Wall (but don’t walk up, that’ll hurt the next morning...)

There are two things that will make your experience in China great, your family and yourself. Choose your family wisely and make sure you can communicate well. Families in China are different so being able to adapt will make it easier for both of you. Talk about how they like to educate and take care of children and how you like to do it and come to an agreement on how to do it.

There’s a lot of things I can say but most importantly: if you come with and open mind and give and take you’ll probably have a great experience like me.

The past 6 month that I got to spend in Beijing were some of the best in my life. I experienced a strange culture with their ancient traditions and odd manners. Although I can’t speak Chinese it was easy to make new friend, get around and discover new places.

If you like working with kids and enjoy discovering a new culture then this Programm is probably one of the best options to choose from. The agency and of course your future host family will take good care of you and help you in every situation. Therefore you should be communicative and outgoing.

The agency also offers culture classes and family activities to make it easier for you to find new friends. And the mandarin classes you will attend are fun too. Besides learning the language it is another opportunity for you to hang out with your mates.

I was comming to China to challenge myself and as a gap-year before university (also learning the language isn't to bad).
But what I found was not a challenge at all.

I was always very welcome in my host family and got treated as a member of the family.
I got a connection to the kids quite fast and could communicate to my host parents very easily, due to their good English, which made my stay alot easier.

I think the biggest problems for aupairs is, that they have to little time going out (Curfew/working time) and that sometimes they are being viewed more as a worker than as a family member.

I count myself as very lucky and my time here was definitely worth it.
I had a great experience in china and would recommend it for people that look for something different.

Coming from the rather quiet Germany I prepared myself for an adventure including, incredible crowds, skyscrapers, weird food, different mentalities and a ridiculous language. I definitely was not disappointed, China is different in nearly every aspect of life which makes a (little) culture shock inevitable. Besides travelling and all the nice parts of being in a foreign country there are also some challenging parts, on which I want to focus in my review.

First of all I want to clarify that this program is neither about you nor does LoPair have presents to give away. They are not a welfare organization but a business organization with their focus on the host families (who pay insane amounts of money to have us as their private teacher/family member). If you decide to come to China as an Au Pair you decide to work in China for more than 35hours a week and absolute minimum wage. It is not travelling in China and having loads of free time as a lot of Au Pairs like to hope when they first come here. I've seen a lot of Au Pairs leaving China after just a few days/weeks because they misinterpreted the program description. Second I want to stress that dealing with high expectations not only for your host child to learn the foreign language but also regarding you as a person can be extremely intimidating. Most Chinese families still think of foreigners as being hardworking academics who manage their time in the most efficient way, whereas in reality, and I think I can speak for all of us, we also like to watch Netflix, laugh at memes, spend nights out and procrastinate in terms of studying and work. Be prepared to feel the foreign implied urge to outgrow yourself.
Furthermore you as an Au Pair are not living an independent life, which can be quite annoying if you in your personal development are already an independent person. You as an Au Pair are living for another family, meaning your sleep schedule, freetime and vacation plans, studying schedule etc. but also wether they see you as a family member or employee depends on your family's plans and moods which change from day to day. Flexibility and adaptability are key. If your hostchild only sleeps 15 hours on a whole weekend because it's going through a phase then don't expect to sleep more than that (of course the next nights he/she will sleep more again, but still). In a lot of families you are indeed not only a language teacher but more of an educator who spends more time with the children and has therefore more influence on the children's behavioural education than the parents themselves. In the time that you are their Au Pair you are responsible for their children's development which on it's own is a very big challenge. In addition, you not only have to be a good teacher you also have to ensure that the children are interested in you as a person and want to be around you (want to be influenced by you).
Besides all that you also want to make sure to take care of yourself by studying Chinese (which you should see as freetime not as a duty), meeting friends and exploring your area. This is where your host family comes into play, if they grant you regular off days, understand the program guidelines and respect your needs and interests your freetime will make up for what you have to go through every week (was luckily the case for me). If not seek help at LoPair. Since you work for the family, let LoPair work for you and your needs, don't work for both parties and try to make out everything on your own or you want to leave China quicker than your host child can say ”不要“ (a stubborn way to express their resentment).

As a conclusion I want to tell you about how all Au Pairs (including me) always complain about how exhausting, suppressing and toxic being an Au Pair in China is and that I don't think that that's a lie or an over exaggeration.
But I also think that exactly these challenges and unsolvable seeming problems that you will face are the fact why you WILL outgrow yourself, why you will develop a stronger personality and why you will gain key qualifications that you wouldn't have gained in your average 9-5 job or uni.
We don't grow when we are comfortable, but when we have to leave our comfort zone.
Don't come as an Au Pair if you want to travel, but come as an Au Pair if you want to face new challenges, because that's what being an Au Pair in China is, a challenge.

Special thanks to my Mandarin teacher Scarlette and my local coordinator Yvonne without who I wouldn't have been able to complete the 6 months.

*mic drop*

I have mixed feelings about my Au Pair time in China.

On one side I got to know lots of amazing people, that I’ll definetly miss. We had lots of fun together, even though our tight schedules didn’t give us that much time to meet up. The other Au Pairs were people, who understood me when I was talking about problems with my host family or cultural differences, when others didn’t.
My host family was also one of the better ones, compared to horror stories I heard from others. Of course there were some misunderstandings from time to time but what I really appreciate is that my host mum supported me at studying Chinese and getting to know Chinese culture better. After the kids were in bed, we sometimes had short practice sessions where she would test my vocabulary, practices things I learnt in class or tried to teach me new things.

On the other side I need to say that there are lots of things I did not expected in this parogram. I knew, that there are lots of cultural differences between western countries and Asia, but sometimes it was tough because my host family did not understood how important certain things are for me (e.g. Christmas). What I also realized is, that I never felt like a part of the family. The focus of our program lays on teaching, so we are live-in teachers - not the big sister. I felt very pressured because I was afraid the kids don’t make enough progress.
Furthermore, the reason I came to China was to travel and become more independent, but in the end I couldn’t really leave Shanghai because there was no time (most Au pairs have their off day on a day where they have chinese class). So if your intention is to travel I would not suggest to this program.

I spent three months as an aupair in Beijing and got the chance to become part of a lovely family. I loved spending time with my host kid and my host family always tried to show me as much of their culture as possible. They took me on trips within Beijing at least once per week and we also got to spent a few days at the ocean together etc. Even though being an aupair and teaching children English can be quite challenging from time to time and requires a lot of effort and energy as well as commitment for children, my host family always made sure that I got enough free time to discover the city and spend time with friends. So I got the chance to camp and hike with friends on the Great Wall...
Also the cultural classes offered by Lopair, like a Kung Fu class or a traditional tea ceremony, were very interesting and the Chinese classes by Mandarin House were an excellent opportunity to study Chinese.

All in all, this program is an amazing opportunity to get to know China and its culture, to become part of a lovely family and to learn Chinese. I am incredibly grateful for my host family and hope to visit them in Beijing again soon!

It was an amazing experience. But try to take things not personal because the culture is different and mostly the people don't mean it how they say it. Through the chinese class, I could learn some basic skills in Mandarin and I also got a lot of new friends there. Friends make China much better. You can visit a lot of new places. I have been to a lot of different parks as well as in a lot of temple. That are so pretty places. It is nice to see the Buddha figures. They are all unique. Moreover I enjoyed to go to watertown because you can escape from the busy life in the city. To go around I would recommend to download Shanghai metro app and to use google maps. Glogle maps was my best friend in China. The metro system is very easy so you could also manage it without an app. But why should you make your life harder than it has to be.

I really liked this cultural experience here in China! The first month was quite hard as a lot of things are different than where I come from. I would not recommend this program to somebody who has problems with communication issues or homesickness!
Especially the Language barrier was quite a big deal here for me.. of course I am not able to speak Chinese and I can‘t expect everyone in China to speak English but most of the people here do not Even understand a single word.. I was shocked at the beginning. I really liked my family, but as an au pair in China you should be prepared for difficult kids! Collect as much experience with children as possible! Having a good relationship with the child was the hardest challenge for me in China, and until the end ist stayed dificult.. I feel like Chinese kids are completely different from European ones!!

I enjoyed being an au pair to a lovely family in Beijing for three months. I am sure I will miss them and cannot believe how fast the three months went. The Mandarin classes were also really good! It is focused on communication but I am very satisfied with it. We also had cultural classes such as making fans and traditional calligraphy which were very interesting. I would probably do it again if I could and whole heartedly recommend it

I completed the Summer Educare programme; an experience which has left me with mixed feelings about the programme. It is an excellent opportunity to truly experience a different culture by being immersed into life in China with a Chinese host family. I was able to gain insight which wouldn't be possible when visiting for a short period of time as a tourist. Everyone's experience will be unique as host families have different interests and can introduce you to different cultural aspects. The mandarin classes are also fantastic as I went out to China with no previous knowledge of the language but came away after 8 weeks being able to communicate with basic mandarin.

I was supposed to be living with a lovely family in Shenzhen. Sadly, they pulled out of the programme last minute after much deliberation regarding other plans for their young son. With less than two weeks before starting the programme, Lopair helped me find new families quickly and really seemed to empathise with my situation. However, the family I ended up with in Beijing turned out to be an unfavourable match and I worry about their suitability for the programme at all. I want to give praise to all of the coordinators in Hangzhou who made me feel so welcome and took our small group (3 au pairs as we arrived earlier than other participants) around Hangzhou after orientation training. Unfortunately, Lopair's support seemed to dissipate.

There were numerous negative occasions with my host family but I will limit these to just a few examples:
- the family did not make me feel welcome or accommodated and I didn't feel like "a member of the family". Many mornings I had to go without breakfast because the parents or one of the three nannies would not set the table or cook for me. I was made to feel very awkward about asking for food and the nanny seemed to resent making me a fried egg (most of the time the only thing which my breakfast consisted of). There were no snacks provided for me (apart from the occasional bit of fruit) and I was not allowed out of the house so I couldn't buy any. One time the family went out for the whole afternoon until evening without telling me and I didn't get any dinner. I politely messaged them asking if they could bring me back some "leftovers" which they did a few hours later. As I sat down to eat, the three year old (who had already been out for a big meal) started to try and take the little bit of food I was bought back. He made a commotion and the family gave a large portion of my food to him! I was also hit on different occasions by the boy for no reason (punched in the nose and face as well as my legs) and the mother didn't even react to tell him off or at least check that I was alright.
- no privacy: the family got annoyed with me for shutting my bedroom door—especially locking it—but this was necessary to keep the three year old out of my room when getting changed or sleeping. I wasn't even allowed to lock the bathroom door sometimes (of which I did not have my own and had to share with the three year old and his nanny) which resulted in the boy catching me in the shower—something the family then blamed me for. Even in my free time I lacked privacy as I got criticised for shutting my bedroom door. This was a strain as I was prevented from recuperating and relaxing which had a damaging effect as the weeks went on.
- during week 7 the family had plans to travel to Tianjin and Jinan but this meant I was yo-yoed from one hot cramped car to the next with lots of travelling, no rest, and I was not always given any water. The trip made me very ill for my final week. As soon as we arrived back in Beijing (after a full day of travelling) my body couldn't take anymore and succumbed to the illness it was desperately suppressing under the constant changing of environments. I was up the whole night and the day after throwing up. I wasn't able to eat for over 4 days and it took a couple of days until I could start stomaching fluids again, meaning I was severely dehydrated (something especially uncomfortable in the heat). The family unfairly blamed me several times for being ill because I "ate too much" on the trip—something which was not even true. After the parents asked if my insurance covered going to hospital (to which I said I just needed rest and to try and get over the illness, unable to take anymore distress after the week of travelling) they lost interest. They did not try and look after me or even check up on me which made me feel incredibly isolated. Luckily, despite the difficult language barrier, the daughter's nanny (a different nanny to the one who usually cooks) started to look out for me and made me small portions of plain rice or noodles: a great relief after being neglected by the rest of the family.

To top this off, I had to plead with the mother for a lift to the airport at the end of my placement as I was still unwell. She refused to get one of their drivers (of which they had a few) to take me and insisted I use the subway. I then had to try and appeal to the father who eventually agreed to get a family friend to take me. Not the tearful sendoff I would've hoped for at the start of the programme.

A friend I made on the programme (who was also in Beijing) had messaged two different coordinators urging them to check on me because he was concerned about how unwell I was and the lack of support from the family. I wasn't aware of this until after completing the programme as I was shown the messages by said friend. Lopair did not bother to get in contact with me which was beyond disappointing, especially as I was experiencing such trauma. Even before this—during a misunderstanding with the family—I found my coordinator would favour the family above me despite assuring me in private beforehand that what I was feeling was completely justified and valid.

That is not to say I never enjoyed my time as an au pair because, despite the hurdles, I did have some memorable times with the children. In fact, I got on with the ten year old daughter very well. However, the family generally did not treat me very well. I completely lacked the freedom that I was entitled to, even on my one day off a week. The family were not flexible on their 9pm curfew (I even received texts demanding I start coming back at 7pm on my day off to ensure I was back way before 9pm). I was always with an au pair friend but they would try and justify their control over me by saying I was unsafe. I was rarely allowed out of the house and I had no front door key to aid any independence (I politely spoke to the parents several times and they refused to give me one).

I had an amazing time in China itself and it has undoubtedly helped me develop as a person and gain invaluable cultural insight. I visited some amazing sites like the Great Wall and my days off were by far the happiest of my time in China. Nonetheless, the positives of my experience are not down to Lopair and I can't imagine how my experience might have suffered further had it not been for the support of other au pairs when Lopair were more than inattentive. To give advice for anyone thinking of doing a programme with Lopair, make sure the family you are matched with are right for you. I believe that if circumstances had been different and I had a more accommodating family my experience would have been even better.

I went in China with lopair, a partner of my french agency. My experience as an au pair was amazing, it makes me grow and develop my patience.
My family was really nice, kind with me and thanks to them I discover a lot of things about China (like food, a lot of food and culture).
When you get used to Chinese customs, it’s really easy. People are really nice and helpfull with you. I really love China 🇨🇳

I spent 6 weeks in Hangzhou in a very nice family with two 5 year-old twin girls. The matching process was made rather easy by Lopair even if I had asked to go to Shanghai in the first-place (in retrospect I am really happy I spent these few weeks in Hangzhou and not Shanghai as Hangzhou is a better place to explore traditional China).

BEST PARTS ABOUT THE PROGRAM :

- Being able to discover/explore China on my own was definitly what I was looking forward to the most. After 6 weeks, I can say I have become a lot more confident in travelling by myself, meeting new people, trying new things and starting conversations with locals.

- My Mandarin has improved a lot as the program is a chance to be fully immersed in a Chinese family and the Mandarin lessons I had twice a week were taught by a great teacher.

- The people you get to meet. Spending 6 weeks (or more) in China can get very isolating if you don't make an effort to meet people and make friends. I was very lucky I got along so well with my classmates and also got the chance to go out with other au pairs in my free time. I also made a few Chinese friends that I keep in touch with over wechat and hope to visit in the future !

- The support provided by Lopair was great for me. Both my local coordinator Yvonne and June were amazing, checking up on me and taking me (with one or multiple other au pairs) for coffee and dinner. It really made me feel like I had someone to turn to in case of an issue.

THINGS TO TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION / NEGATIVE ASPECTS :

- One thing I would say to anyone considering doing the programme though is to not underestimate how much effort and energy needs to be put in teaching and supervising kids. It is a real job that requires commitment and a love for kids. 6 weeks can be long if you don't like being around kids all the time.

- The biggest downside to my 6 weeks in Hangzhou was that, because my host family's house was so incredibly far from the city center (about 2h30!!), I wasn't able to go out with friends in the evening or even in the afternoon and stayed in the house even when I was supposed to have some free time. So do ask how far the house is from the language school and the city center !!
In the end it turned out fine because my host family went to Japan for 10 days and paid for a hotel for me in the center so I did have these days to explore more by myself and hang out with people my age.

In conclusion, my 6 weeks in Hangzhou truly were an amazing for me and it really has reinforced my love for China. I am incredibly grateful to my host family who was wonderful in every way and tried their best to share their culture with me. I hope to go back to Hangzhou very soon :)

I've had a great time here is Beijing and it's all thanks to the family I was staying with and the friends I got to make. Making sure you're with the right family is key to your enjoyment of the program. But don't worry, if you are unlucky enough to get a family that you don't click with then it is easy enough to switch. LoPair are great at finding new matches and making sure you are housed and comfortable.

Overall I've enjoyed myself a lot and I will be very sad to leave. I am very glad I got to experience China and I will definitely be coming back!

Everything was really good. I got a beautiful family and that make my cultural shock shorter. Learning Chinese was very interesting and I love it. Totally recommend this experience because it’s the cheapest way to get to china, easiest way to stay there longer, funniest way to learn Chinese, best way to improve it, richest way to get connected to the culture. I loved living with a family and sharing with them their culture!

Self-Intro
Hi, I'm a 4th-year university student, male, 20 years old and Asian Canadian (my parents are from Central Asia). I found out about this program through a library recruitment I came across which mentioned a cultural exchange program in Shanghai during the summer. I had a free month in summer I felt like it could be a fun experience (spoiler: I was right!!).
Pre-trip
So before the trip, I registered online gave them my general information and a Canadian company called Scotia-personnel helped me organize my documents and set up the trip for me (they were really nice and helpful btw). I made a profile which included my resume, letter to the family and some references. After a while a family contacted me and we had a video interview. After that, I completed the confirmation documents and the trip was booked for 6 weeks. I actually ran into some problems with a test I was writing that summer (it had to be moved later) and the test ended up being in the first week that the trip was scheduled. The family and LoPair were really helpful and wanted to accommodate me anyway!! So, in the end, I ended up going for a total of 5 weeks to Shanghai to live with my host family.
Trip itself
So the family was kind and wanted to pick me up from the airport, LoPair arranged my flight tickets and gave them all the information they needed. I lived in Pudong area during my trip which was conveniently close to the downtown area where my language classes were. The classes were every Monday and Wednesday from 10-12:15 and were mandatory time off from the family. The host kid I was matched with was 11 years old and spoke basic English and was enough for us to communicate at a basic level, as time went on his English skills and our overall communication skills improved greatly. I had time off every Friday night and all Saturday, which was great since I had time to go out and see the city with my friends :D. I met some great friends in the language classes and outside of class, the only difficulty was that we didn't all have our free time off at the same time. The family was kind and got my train tickets to go see other cities nearby on my days off if I asked them, sometimes we would go out together as a family for dinner and see city landmarks. For my orientation which took place in Hangzhou, I had tickets provided for me and my whole trip planned and paid for me. During the orientation we went to see the famous West Lake and the pagoda located there, then we went to a shopping district and finally for a Chinese dinner! We all stayed in a small hotel (which was really clean and nice) after one of the coordinators (Saigon) was amazing and took me to see the city on her free time because I had some free time after the orientation was over. During the work days, I had a plan outlined by my host mom for each day which was really helpful because it gave me an estimate of how much work and how much play time I needed to spend with the host kid. Overall my host kid was very funny and kind but like any kid, he could get annoying. We would spend time together from breakfast to dinner, playing games, reading books, studying, eating, drawing, talking all the time about random things. It was really fun but it did get really tiring after 4-5 days, which meant that days off were really nice to spend outside the house. Since in the summer it gets really hot, many of the days were spent inside, that means that having good books and fun hands-on things to do is a must. I got to see the best parts of Shanghai, either with my friends or with my host family. Living in a family with a different culture is challenging but its a great and fun experience and taught me about our similarities and differences. I will keep in touch with my host family and this is a relationship I have for life.